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It's a simple equation. Cows + Haiku = Cowku
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Cow Teachers
Can we learn from cows?
They are meek, quiet creatures.
But they love that grass!
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When I was a kid
Mom read about purple cows.
So that explains that.
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Some cow musicians
Prefer to play pink guitars
To match their udders.
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Cows don't use their names
When they use online auctions
Because of farm rules.
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The more cultured cows
Enjoy the shows on Broadway.
But that's a long walk.
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When tipping a cow
Should it be fifteen percent?
Or is that not right?
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Oh, look at that calf!
Isn't he just precious... WAIT!
COME BACK WITH MY FORKS!
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I wish newspapers
Had more cow-related news
Like weather and sports.
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When I'm hunting cows
All I need is a hammer
They're such easy prey.
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If cows are so dumb
Why don't they have blooper shows?
That would be funny.
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When cows play poker
What do they use for money?
I hope it's not chips!
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When wrestling cattle
Save your nostril hold for last
Or otherwise... yuck!
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Do cattle get sad?
Do they have an inner cow?
Do they give blue milk?
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If cattle wore shoes
Maybe their hooves wouldn't stink.
I've seen where they walk.
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Do cows get along
With other farm animals?
If they don't mind cud.
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There are no cattle
That go by the name Fonzie.
They can't give thumbs up.
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If superheroes
Are looking for good sidekicks
They should get a cow.
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Cows don't get much flack
But they are not much safer
In the china shops.
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You can always tell
When cows visit your web site.
They tell all their friends.
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The Cow Rebuttal Incident
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Cow Teachers Revisited
I have learned from cows.
They're not all meek and quiet,
Some are grumpy thugs.
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Without A Moo
Cows hunted me down
On my way to work one day.
I was more agile.
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Breakout
Why do cows escape
Their homey fenced-off pastures?
To go me-tipping.
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The State Of The World
We live in strange times.
Cow gangs terrorize people
While they walk to work!
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If you're a doctor
Examining some big cows
Watch those rear leg kicks!
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Incumbent mayors
Always lose cow elections
On the beef issue.
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I wonder if cows
Are offended by Gateway
Using them for gain.
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Cows as confidants
Are good at keeping secrets.
They just chew their cud.
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Out-of-work cattle
Must have a hard way to go
Since they can't type fast.
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Once I had a steer
And we sold it at the fair.
Then he was eaten.
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I used to run track
But only against cattle
That were old and fat.
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When following cows
You should really watch your step.
And man, what a smell!
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I once heard this band
That claimed to play cowpunk rock
None of them were cows.
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Cattle make me sad.
They have no superheroes
That fight farm evil.
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