You could say that I'm somewhat of a haiku connoisseur if you like. I'm a professional to be certain - successful because I write from experience. I write what I know. Hence, many of my haiku deal with real-life issues - issues like cows, breakfast cereals, and misunderstanding the question. The masses seem to respond to my edgy realism and hard-hitting scrutiny when staring in the face of nasty abrasions and tempting snacks, often in the same sentence. This is no summer school introduction to Haiku For Dummies. This is life, incontinently slashed with a warped pair of left-handed scissors and haphazardly strewn about into random piles of seventeen syllables. Yes, the wallpaper is hard on the eyes. But isn't it about time we started letting our eyes cross the way God intended? Just once, can't we get at the heart of the problem and let all of the other distractions just go fuzzy?

Listen, I think I just had some bad raisins, so I'm going to get right to the haiku. But let me quickly thank Tony and KC for being the first ones to nurture this freaky little writing twitch I have. If you have any comments, then good for you. Enjoy!