The Thirteenth Dimension
Now with RETSYN
Super Elastic Combustion Rodeo

The 13D Daily Rigors And Faux Sports Beat Report Thingy

 

 

INDIANAPOLIS - For the second week in a row and the third time this season, Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fisher awarded the game ball to the crowd in attendance at the 19-16 victory over the Indianapolis Colts Sunday night. The announcement was unexpected, considering that the overwhelming majority of the Indianapolis RCA Dome capacity crowd was rooting for the home team.

"Speaking on behalf of my fellow Colts fans, you can keep your filthy game ball," a disoriented local retorted. "I'd much rather veer into oncoming traffic than lay a finger on that wretched piece of ill-gotten pigskin." Observers noted that the estimated 60,000 in attendance had a decent chance of making at least one fatal wrong turn down a one-way street in their down-trodden and inebriated conditions. "They probably would not have been able to decide on a mantle to show off the dubious trophy

anyway," noted one analyst. "I doubt that they could have developed a system of taking it in turns, even if they had wanted to."

Titans players were also taken aback by Fisher's decision. "Jevon (Kearse) told me he thought I was a logical choice for the game ball," DB Blaine Bishop said in a press conference. Bishop's 6 tackles Sunday night were key in holding Indy's potent offense to a single touchdown. "But coach said I could ride shotgun with him on the way back to Nashville, so I'm not worried 'bout it."

RB Eddie George was also considered by many to be a leading candidate for this symbolic accolade. George's 176 all-purpose yards included the 68-yard TD trot that put the Titans in the lead for good. "The only thing I'm worried about right now is the Home Economics test I've got

Tuesday, " responded George. "With all the prep time we put into this week's game, I've had no time to study. So don't even talk to me about this game ball."

There is also the matter of next week's trip to Jacksonville for the AFC title game.

"I'm just happy to be alive, and happy to be wearing clean underwear and sensible shoes," said Al Del Greco, whose 4 field goals were key to the Titans victory. "When you get to be my age you don't ask questions like 'Who are we playing tonight?' and 'Why is the sky blue?' You just go out there and swing your leg like this a whole lot." 16-year veteran Del Greco then proceeded to convulse violently like a dancer with worms, forcing team officials to retrieve a net and a bag of cotton candy.

 

 

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Combustion Rodeo
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